Sunday, August 30, 2009

I wish to fly away even if i might get injured, it's ok to be a fool glancing over at the scars of my dreams, Goodbye days of my youth.

I'm crying inside.I want to rewind back time.Sadded,that can't be done.............

My life's still not improving.............................
I screwed my common test, although i pass.............
Sigh can i get out of Singapore?
It's torturing....................
I can't leave my Sg frwens.................
But i'll have to try.............


Oh god. Am up with a high fever tis weekend.....but managed to recover.
Jing Yi scolded him.........She was very pissed off with him.........i think she is still now.
Chill my galfrwen..........................one thing in my mindset, he'll never wake up no matter how many people tried to wake him up.
So don't bother,I'm already on the verge to stop everything.I'm tired.I feel sick inside.No medicine to cure me.Cos i'm already poisoned to the worst.
My heart has shattered.Pieces of glass on the ground................can't be saved..............
I don't want to bother. i don't wanna care.
I have other people, that's worth it to be with them. Why should i bother bout him?
I'm not a fool, i've already known many things that was done. But i kept quiet.I just want him to know that what he have done, is wrongand hope he'll change.But did he?No.
Enough enough.Shutup. please shutup.
My life. I can decide for myself. I have my own freedom to do what ever i want.Happyness belongs to me.No one can take away my happyness.It belong to me.I don't care anymore.
I'm happy being with my family and frwens who cared dearly for me.And if you dare interfere, of make my life difficult, i make sure you'll pay for it.I'll use violence again. I will no longer control.
Wanna tame me?Haha. Forget it lah.Look at yourself, what have you done to me now?You didn't listen.You just want to do whatever you want to do.You didn't spare a thought for me.I did whatever is best for you.But what did i get?
So seriously i had enough already.EHOUGH EHOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO DIE GO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


9:51pm

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I've learnt my lesson.I'm no longer the same Claris that people once known........
I've been hurt badly...................
Because of what? Don't bother asking me. Cos i will not share again.......I will only share with only my gal frwen, bros and sis
I feel so sick, so tired.
My results are all flunked.......
I'm gonna climb up, i'm no longer gonna wait. I'm just gonna care bout myself, Yes i might be selfish.
I was not selfish before. I held on, helped alot, but what do i get in the end?
I got HURT AND HURT AND HURT!
Although i'm really hurt, i still carry on walking.............i told myself that i should still be positive even though i'm hurt badly.
So i kept everything in my heart and carried on walking, being the positive Claris.
Hahas. Now what? I'm hurt and hurt until my heart can't take it anymore.Can't no more.......my heart is already dead......
Killed by who? Hurt by who? Hahas. Forget me telling you who. Those that killed & hurt me knows best.
Right now, i no longer give a damn. I'm just gonna concentrate on myself,my gal frwen,bros and sis
I'm gonna be selfish.I'll hurt others.To let people know how it is like to hurt other people and to kill their heart.
I've made my mind and i wun't change it. I'm gonna concentrate on my studies.
Me, Myself & I

Monday, August 24, 2009

SC PHOTO 2009

10:27pm

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Benedict[left], Sze Min[centre] & Justin[right]



Movie tickets for "Where got ghost?" movie


Sze Min's food- Fried Scrambled Eggs


Mua Food- Fluffy Omelette >_<



Haha! Sze Min & Benedict. Tou pai de^_^


HAHAHA! Went out with my three friends to J8 after the talk on secondary two choosing subs. It was a day of fun, angryness and sadness...............................Dun wish to share=X
From BSS, took a cab to J8 then took an MRT to HM. Wow! Long long journey.......
Hmm.....what we did in J8?
Simple--
1.) Went to makan at Swensens
2.) Went to forth lvl to shop shop
3.) Went to buy movie tickets for "Where got ghost" movie
4.) Went to Coffee Bucks
5.) Went to watch the movie
6.) Went to Danki to see lappys
7.) Took the Circle Line and MRT to HM
8.) Went to Harvey Norman
9.) Went to Long John Slivers
10.) Went home!
~! THE END !~

Tiring day...................Ltr still needa go to Ikea.............And i finally went back home! Woots!


7:19pm~

Monday, August 17, 2009

Investiture's over....................Was very grand........Hahas.
Was bit of embarrassed and nervous, but it all turned out well(^_^)
Tiring, woke up at 5.30am and reached school at 6.15am...................Walked up to SC room with Donna.............Do all the preparations and blah blah blah

Got everybody to gather at the hall.................
First performance by CCC and SC..............
Then next came the CCC and SC walk in.............(>_<)
So "pai seh"...........imagine everybody staring at you...and moreover, we the girls, needa hook the guys! Oh my god............hahas.........but it was sure fun^^Positive thinking=]

So happy. Got tie bar and collor pin! Finally became a councillor...Hahas........
Anyway, life's getting better...........I think that i've finally dump everything aside and concentrate on only MYSELF. YESH MYSELF! NO OTHERS! ONLI MI, MYSELF AND I! MUAHAHAHAS!

Oh and when walking out of the hall, people were cheering mi, but idk who are they........but nevermind. Not important anyway. Hehes.

Tired.......ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ...................................SHHHHH........SLEEPING.............

8.51pm

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Investiture rehersal^^
8am-11am


SOMETHINGS I NEVER SHARE, SO DON'T EVER ASK...............................................................


These few days, feeling happy.............................Can say it's very happy..........Yeah, maybe pieces of my life are starting to fix up.........so i'll just follow the path that i'm walking =]

OH MUA GOD!!! INVESTITURE'S FINALLY COMING!! 2 MORE DAYS!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!^^

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

As days goes by, i really feel like ending my life.........
I don't see a reason why i should live.................
I really miss home very much........
I desire to go back home.......
This is the worst year ever in my life...............
I didn't have this really bad feeling of all i lived.........
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why am i hurting so much? Why am i feeling sad? I'm afraid to lose something...................
Maybe I'm thinking too much...................
But it's always uneasy in the inside..........
And friends' news..................
I'm going crazy.....i really am............I've had enough..................
Should i save the box containing happiness? Or myself?
I really really don't know..............



Today was the first ever time, i felt so free..............
The feeling was like i didn't have anything to worry about. Was like stting on the clouds.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I no longer want to bother about anything.
Tired and sick...........Enough already.....It's really enough.
Positivity was not me. It was just fakes.
All along, I was crying on my own shoulder. Pathetic ye?
Heard before History will not repeat itself?Yeah it applies here.

So, now on I'm just gonna enjoy myself. Problems? I hardcare.
Stop telling me your problems be-cos I don't give a damn.
Sorry to say, but the truth, I don't ever pity.
Not appreciating? Then forget it.
Very simple logic to understand and get it into your head=)

I never complained, no.
I kept walking, no matter how tiring, difficult or hurtful it is.
But now, I will stop.
You like or not, it's not for you to decide, but for me. You might think I'm control-in, but I'm not.

I've given you all the freedom. But you chose to take it for granted.
You appreciating? Oh puh-lease!
So I'll take everything as a joke from now.
Don't talk seriously to me, be-cos I'll laugh the hell out of me.

Know this phrase?
Good things that comes, goes very easily.
So if you don't learn to appreciate it, it'll be too late to change anything.
You'll be the ultimate GREAT BIG BIG LOSER in the end.

SO........................... Your choice=]
And lastly, choose wisely=]

1:37pm

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Life was perfect at first,
until people came and interfered.
They made life hard and bitter,
much more (no peace),

A world with one,
is enough.
So please, i'm begging, not to enter,
Or it'll go crashing to the ground.
And all be too late for anything.

You must understand
That I'll get hurt (not you).............
So why bother to come?
I don't need your wave nor "hi".
Just ignore, you won't die (no big deal)!

So.................
Just fish off
And mind your own business.
I can handle my own problems.
Not needing a person like you.

My thinking is different from others.
So don't ever think that you'll have the chance
To whisper something to me,
Because I'll really turn a deaf ear to it.

Everything done by you,
IS RUBBISH!
CRAP!
NONSENSE!
So, you still think I'd appreciate it?
WAIT LONG!!

Disturbance?
I never tolerate.
No matter,
Whether it's minor, or major.
I'll not sit still.
So you'd better watch out.
Or you'll have cracked bones in your body.

You might be wondering,
Why I'm saying all these.
Because I'm giving you a warning,
To GET OUT of my world and mind your own business.
I don't need your paper and business,
I'll just simply dump it in the garbage.

You think i don't ever dare?
HAHA!
You just don't know,
Who i am, well.

You'll never understand or get to know me.
Because i forbitted it.
Don't come begging me.
Because the only thing you'll get from me,
Is the embarrassment.

Feeling shame now?
Even you do, or don't..........
YOU, GET LOST!


6:11pm

Friday, August 7, 2009

ERASE & REWIND

I don't wanna feel like this
I don't want to
I don't want to
I don't want to freak you out
But I...
Think I might of said too much
Didn't mean to
Didn't mean to
Think I might of said is you and I

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
Somehow I can't seem to stay away
I don't want to sound desperate but I am
So come say that you'll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind, erase and rewind

I don't want to stand in line
Like I used to
Like I used to
I don't want to have to scream and shout
Cause I'm the kinda girl that sticks
Like a tattoo
Like a tattoo
Yeah I'm the kinda girl that wears you out

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
Somehow I can't seem to stay away
I don't want to sound despite but I am
So say that you'll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind, erase and rewind

You never do return my calls
Just like we never met at all
No matter what I'll always wait for you
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you

I don't wanna feel like this
I don't want to

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
Somehow I can't seem to stay away
I don't want to sound desperate but I am
So say that you'll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind
Erase and rewind
(Repeat)

IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S OK

You told me
There's no need
To talk it out
Cause it's too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say

[Chorus]
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry
Alright, ok
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright, ok
I'm so much better without you
I wont be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

[Chorus]

Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's Way to late
I'm closing the door

10:31pm

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Every week was bad for me
Every day was worst for me
Every Week day nights' was a suffer for me
Waking up every morning for school was struggles for me
Walking to school alone was enough boring for me
Walking to my classroom with corridoors filled with students' voices, laughter and footsteps was unaccepted noise for me
Fridays are hectic for me.....................

But life still has to go on.
I wished that i could go back to the time where no obstacles were laid and alone in my world where peace was born. But it's too late. Nothing can undo it. If it was a price, i would pay for it.........No point regretting or drwel about it.


10:17pm

Saturday, August 1, 2009

SIAN................................................................................

Came back from Air NDP training yesterday still have to clear all the broken pieces of glasses...................
Was in a very very very extremely bad mood on Thursday......Came back from school, showered, skipped my dinner and went to watch some TV. Then don't know what happen to me, i started to go to the kitchen and took out all the new glasses which my mum bought not long ago and started to throw at walls.........I'M GOING CRAZY! I don't know why i acted that way.............sigh.....i've never been this negative and unhappy before.......Past weeks always unhappy...........
Negative stuffs came into my mind..............Last month, i kept vending my anger and unhappiness at my family....IDK why.....i then decided to stay alone as i don't want to hurt anybody........i almost killed my best friend with the chopper..........i'm not sure what i'll do next............but i better becareful..........i'm really really going really crazy..................i think my mum's getting worried, i think because of the throwing of glasses.....that day she said nothing but tried to cheer me up. " My dear, when will you be back to your once, cheerful and happy self? When will you return home?" My mum asked me that after the whole house was in a mess with broken glasses.
I didn't answer her because i just didn't feel like talking...............ignored.................
i'm so hurt.................slashes in my heart..........i want to go back to where i belong...an alone a peaceful world...........but if i do that, all my friends' efforts and time would all be wasted............what should i do?.................and i can tell that, HE will not be happy.......................
idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk...........................................................someone please help mi........................

1:24pm